Friday, June 5, 2009

Awakening Our Contribution

The Essenes taught their children that at the deepest core of each of us is a vital, unique expression of human evolution. The greatest drive and passion within each of us is to contribute in a way that serves the oneness within humankind, and the value of our own individual nature. They also taught that each of us is uniquely supported, both by the spiritual and the physical universes, in the expression of our talents and gifts.
These people considered that destructive forces were merely expressions of blocked energy, often impediments to the free expression of one’s passion to contribute. The apparently destructive action was merely the effort needed to get stagnant energy moving again, so that the expression of contribution could flow once again.
Everyone’s greatest passion is to contribute to human evolution. We each have unique gifts developed for this purpose. Seth suggests that when we pursue this purpose passionately, it will never betray us. The greatest desire and passion of the Inner Self is to live in a way that contributes to the growth of human evolution. Even the cells of our bodies know of this deep passion to contribute.
However, pain is the result whenever we pursue such a purpose tenuously. We often restrict this passion for fear of failure, disapproval or loss. Suppressing our feelings of passion is like suppressing our feelings of desire – our natural flow of energy gets suppressed, creating physical, mental or emotional imbalance.
There are three fundamental blocks the conscious mind creates that impede the realization of this passion: I am not capable of achieving my dreams; I am not willing to devote my life and resources to such a purpose; and I am afraid of failing.
Believed, these impediments not only block our experience of our passion to contribute, but also create illness, scarcity and death. We forget that we each not only came into this life with our unique passion to contribute intact, but with abundant capability and resources to realize it as well. It is only when pursued with tenuous commitment that our passions produce problems.
When faced with doubts about our capability to create our greatest contributions, it is wise to remember the power of commitment. At the moment of doubt, experiment with the idea of committing to trusting that you do have all that you need for your dreams, otherwise you could not have the dream! Ask your subconscious to connect with the Inner Self and ask that all energies and chemistries that block your trust of your capabilities be swept away, joyfully!
Often when believing we are not capable, or fearful that we are not up to the magnitude of our visions, we settle for accepting our lowered expectations for ourselves and then try to prove to the world we are capable. We adopt such strategies to in an attempt to avoid the pain of failing to pursue our life’s true purpose. Trying to prove that we are capable, disconnected from our deepest contribution to human evolution, is like building a house and proving that we can walk through the front door.
I commit to trusting the abundance of resources contained within my dreams to be more than I need to realize my passions.
I commit to trusting that my failures on the road to this contribution will each serve in the ultimate, perfectly balanced manifestation of my dream.
Ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you, such is your power.
Our passions are the beacons that illuminate our greatest potentials! Exploring and expanding our unique potential is one of life’s greatest joys. It is also some of the most fun we can have together in Spiritual Relationships!
The discovery of our individual passion to contribute is the fundamental job of education. The pursuit of our contribution and the pains and pleasures inherent in that journey is the greatest force in human society.
Many of us believe our worth is produced by what we create in life. Some make the mistake of believing we are human doings rather than human beings; human producers rather than human creators.
We often focus solely on the idea, “What would I love to do?” which misses the point. It is not what I would love to do, but rather what can I do that gives me the greatest chance to fulfill my talents, gifts and potentials? What opportunities exist, or can be created, where can maximize my expressions of creation and love?
The question to consider when looking at our passion to contribute is, “What could I be contributing to others that allows me to give the greatest of my gifts?”
When exploring the next expression of your contribution, ask yourself, “Will this opportunity expand my freedom to love?” This question certainly clarifies any silliness about salary and benefits. Whenever we pursue the true expression of our gifts, salary and benefits are overshadowed by the joy we experience at pursuing our passion, and our oneness with life.
- Identify the ways you hide or resist your fears related to your potential. Examples include, “I justify not risking what I’m passionate about by bragging about my great salary;” or “I’m afraid of failing at my contribution, so I just ignore it”.
- Ask your subconscious to reveal any feelings of fear associated with the pursuit of your potential. Make this request as you awaken on three consecutive days. Breathe ten deep, connected breaths as you make the request.
- During this three-day period, stay alert to all feelings of fear. As they emerge in your consciousness, locate them, breathe deeply and work through the Heal-A-Hurt exercise (see the healing section on this website).

Consider the wonderful quote from Nelson Mandella, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Our potential scares us the most.
Could we look at strangers as though they were the ones who wove the cloth of our favorite shirt and trust that we are all contributing to each other?
For one day, allow yourself to consider that every though and action of each person somehow contributes to our collective reality. Notice your experience of yourself at the end of this day.
Pursuing our contribution recklessly, it will never betray us. However, when pursued tenuously, our contributions always produce pain. This speaks for the great courage it takes to be human.

Friday, January 23, 2009


Attitudes are the mental context for our thinking. As the gardens in which our thoughts grow, our attitudes determine what kind of thinking we focus upon. Largely unnoticed, our attitudes range from seeing ourselves mired in the mud of life as helpless victims to a sublime appreciation as joyful beings of light, intimately connected with All That Is. When we adopt the discipline of being aware of our attitudes, we tap into a powerful method for focusing the power of the mind.
Attitudes are distinct from and yet often accompanied by an emotion. The ability to make the distinction between the mental and emotional components of our attitudes is very valuable, for the methods for changing the two components differs. Guilt is an example of how we often confuse the emotional and mental components of an attitude. Often when holding at attitude of guilt, we judge ourselves as bad and often engage in self-punishment. We try to prove, through our words and actions that we are, in fact, good. This behaviour can become all-consuming, a fixation that clouds our ability to honestly express our thoughts and feelings.
However, when wanting to change, or heal, an emotional experience, acceptance of the sensation is the primary requirement. Too often our attitude in reaction to emotional hurt is one of resistance. We distract, deny and oppose unwanted sensations and thus block the natural ability to heal the hurt. Emotional and physical imbalance is simply a messenger, seeking to deliver a message about a need for a change in perspective to the conscious mind.
Changing an emotional state is more complex than changing an attitude, which is a simple matter of choice. When we choose to change an attitude, the context for our thinking changes. A whole range of new thoughts becomes available whenever we elevate the vibration of our mental state. When our attitudes reflect an alignment of the conscious mind with the Inner Self, physical imbalances are not created.
The most fundamental mental context that seems to plague us these days is the attitude of being a victim. Widespread and often promoted by the media, victimhood spawns most of our destructive thoughts, mental images and attitudes.

- Life is hostile and a struggle. I often carry an attitude of cynicism toward life, masked behind intellectual justifications.
- I doubt my own ability to constructively interact with my reality. I doubt my power to create my life and manifest my dreams.
- Resources are scarce.
o I must acquire all I can and hold onto what I’ve got. I carry an attitude of greed.
o I worry about and often fear loss.
o I fear disappointment and believe it undermines my value.
- Outside forces create my feelings, thoughts and experience. I adopt an attitude of blame. I resist what I define as harmful outside forces, seeking to change them by resisting, enemizing and playing win/lose with them.
- Punishment and revenge are appropriate behaviours.
- Attitudes of sympathy and pity are considered comforting. I do not often focus on attitudes of compassion and connection. I have no awareness that my self-pity blocks healing.
- I attack those I blame, including myself, becoming a victimizer.
- I bond with others who are fixated on victim attitudes.
- My definitions of good and bad, right and wrong are consistent with my attitude of victimhood. I adopt attitudes of self-righteousness and righteous indignation. I compare myself with those I judge as less than myself, and seek to construct self-images that compare favorably with those I judge. I easily delude myself about my true self.
- I try to cope with uncomfortable emotions by distracting myself and denying my feelings. I am rarely honest with myself (or others) about my feelings and carry attitudes of hopeless, helpless and powerless.
- I often distract myself from my emotional experience with an attitude of judgment.
- I expect unfortunate events in my future and seek to protect myself from them. I carry a mental attitude of worry.
- I develop judgmental, prejudicial attitudes toward people I define as certain ‘types’, refusing to recognize those who cross my path as reflections of facets of myself. I carry attitudes of mistrust, contempt and dismissal toward others and therefore myself.
- I believe the past cannot be changed and carry it as an ever-growing burden in my life.
- I struggle with attitudes of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, separation, isolation and mental depression.

The Beginners’ Attitude, a mental discipline developed by one of my teachers, George Bullied, is an excellent guide for changing limiting attitudes.
To help clients safely explore their own beliefs, I ask them to commit to what is called the Beginners’ Attitude, a very useful notion introduced to me by a wonderful teacher and friend, George Bullied. Necessary to unblock our natural healing abilities, this concept simply asks that we have an open mind, an open heart and a willingness to step into the unknown.
To have an open mind is to free one’s thinking of judgment. I call a judgment any thought of diminishment of the self or someone else. With an open mind we are willing to consider any idea as a possibility. We give up the need to invalidate an idea before exploring it to see if it produces a constructive result.
An open heart is one that allows the full range of human feelings, rather than only accepting the ‘good’ feelings and avoiding the ‘bad’ ones.
The third step of the Beginners’ Attitude – the willingness to step into the unknown – is often the greatest challenge of all. We are often afraid to explore the unknown domains because … “you never know what might go wrong.”
We have all had the experience of expecting some outcome from the unknown, only to be disappointed. It is similar to driving through a new country expecting a map to reveal all that we encounter. When disappointed or lost, we may blame the map, or find fault with the landscape, rather than examine our expectations.
We often fear the next lesson in life, because we can imagine the one after that one as being very ugly. One client asked, “If I heal this fear of the unknown, will it be time for me to die?” At times we avoid the unknown because we simply find comfort in holding onto what we know.
Angie, an East Coast client who I worked with by phone, was struggling with unknown aspects of her future. “I’m afraid to start a business that lets me pursue my passion of teaching art to children,” she said. “I depend on the great salary I’m getting from the marketing job I’ve had for six years.”
“What’s in the unknown that you don’t want to face,” I asked her.
“I’m afraid of not having enough money to maintain my future lifestyle,” she explained.
I admired her honesty and thought to ask, “Angie, when did the unknown betray you?”
Put in that context, Angie realized she had never been betrayed by the unknown. Yes, she had disappointments, but every outcome, she realized, had contributed to her life. “Despite my fears about failing and losing some benefits my income provides,” she conceded, “I am excited about the opportunity to combine my creative talents with my love for kids.”
“I guess that’s the only way I’ve really grown in my life,” Angie realized, “When facing the unknown and believing my dreams aren’t possible, all I’ve had to do is to understand that my limitations aren’t real.”
Angie and I have had several ongoing discussions about what it takes to trust the unknown. Like most of us, Angie mistrusted it, especially at times of self-doubt.
As Angie learned to heal her fears, she found a greater ability to trust - not only the unknown, but also her abilities and her passion for teaching children.
“Sometimes, Angie, when we become complacent and resist growing in life,” I offered, “We subconsciously attract the unknown into our lives to help us move beyond our fears, failures and mistrust. In the process we recover our power to dream. materialize those dreams and trust – ourselves and the unknown.”
Any journey into the unknown forges a deeper experience of your own identity – the inner strengths, talents and dreams from which you manufacture your life. To be willing to step into the unknown ultimately is about the commitment to open doors to the discovery of unknown potentials of the Self – the greatest adventure of all!

Using a journal, or during a quiet meditation, identify your current attitude. A very useful attitude exercise is to simply examine the question: What result is this attitude producing in my life? Many years ago, I gave up worrying about the moral question, “Is this good or bad? Will this behaviour get me into heaven or hell?” Instead, I found the notion, “Do what works,” seemed to be much more useful. Its corollary, “Stop doing what does not work,” is at times, even more useful. Using these principles, I found myself examining the results of my life from the standpoint that I was their creator, rather than assuming they had been thrust upon me.

It is in our attitudes of acceptance or resistance that reflect our fundamental choice to see ourselves as the victims or creators of our lives.


Monday, January 12, 2009

The Three Primary Facets of the Self

A little over a century ago, a researcher named Max Freeman Long began investigating the indigenous Hawaiian Huna culture. He was seeking to understand the ‘superhuman’ powers demonstrated in the lives of the tribal shaman or Kahuna. Among the stories of mysterious powers were tales of Kahuna altering island weather patterns, effecting phenomenal healings and exhibiting clairvoyant knowledge of future events and effective telepathy. While attempting to create a dictionary of their language, he discovered that the Hawaiians acknowledge and use a powerful relationship between the conscious, subconscious and Inner (or higher/super-conscious) facets of the Self.

Consider the conscious mind to be the expression of the Inner Self that is focused primarily on time-and-space. The subconscious, the intelligence inherent within the physical body, is manifesting the Inner Self within the physical dimension. This facet carries a connection to all other lifetimes of the Self. The Inner Self is considered to be the timeless, powerfully creative dimension of the Self and is the director of its many expressions in its many dimensions. This could include the dream state, past lives, alternate realities and God knows what other dimensions in which we may exist.

Long found that the source of the Kahunas’ powers was in how information traveled between these different facets. The conscious mind’s only channel of communication with the Inner Self is through the subconscious. In other words, there is no direct link between the conscious mind and the Inner Self – the subconscious is the only doorway between the physical, conscious self and the Self who is directing and creating in many dimensions. When the Inner Self wishes to guide the conscious mind, the subconscious ‘nudges’ the consciousness with the message, “Here’s more information to explore before making a choice.”

While the conscious mind traffics mainly in word symbols, it also uses numbers, colors, shapes and sounds to send and receive information. The subconscious and Inner Self recognize these symbols but also accept those that carry more information, such as emotion, feelings, desires, mental images, visions and intuition. We unknowingly restrict the flow of information between the subconscious and conscious minds whenever we suppress our emotions. We limit our capacity to feel, especially the subtle sensations and nudges coming from the subconscious.

The powers of the Kahuna were considered superhuman, simply because, with our centuries-old social programming, we do not recognize how much of our innate ability we block when blocking communication between the three facets of the Self. When not aware of the multi-dimensional facets of the Self, we imagine it to be a time-and-space phenomena only. We restrict our abilities to those we can rationally accept in this domain. Our conscious priority is to be right about our identity, recognizing self as those facets that can be justified, rationalized and approved by others. Self-worth is considered to be a function of attractiveness, intelligence, social acceptance and wealth, defined as tangible assets.

We delude ourselves about who we are, believing who we think we are is synonymous with who we are. We believe our identities to be static phenomena, held within the bounds of the conscious mind alone. And as we subordinate the truth of who we are, our lives grow in dysfunction, ultimately becoming appendages of an ego which has grown out of control. We believe it is a mark of intelligence to, at times, invalidate what is – what exists in reality – and so come to doubt our innate value. Given the power of every mental action, such thinking leaves us with a legacy of depression and self-destructive behaviours. We believe we have minimal control over the circumstances of our lives, not to mention the realization of our dreams. We hurry to reach the end of our lives.

By recognizing and then utilizing the connections between the conscious, subconscious and Inner Self, the experience of unique identity expands exponentially. We can accept the experience of varied facets of the Self experienced in dreams, imaginings and meditations. Acts of conscious creation become not only possible but effective. Having the power to create is no longer a lost dream we relegate to gods of ancient mythology. And, a wonderful array of ‘inner’ abilities become available, the supposed-superhuman talents of telepathy, empathic intuition, spontaneous healing, clairvoyance and seeing the future, as examples.

When consciously expanding our identities to include the Inner Self, self-worth no longer is a question. As unique individuals we are of inestimable value. Well-being becomes a function of mental attitude, emotional well-being and desire to contribute to human evolution. Wealth is an expression of our unique talents and gifts. Spiritual relationships are borne out of the alignment between our individual wealth and well-being.

As we come to identify with greater dimensions of the Self, we begin to experience that we attract each event of our lives through the guidance of the Inner Self. No experience occurs without being designed and constructed by the Self – the conscious mind, subconscious and the Inner Self working in concert. When the conscious mind refuses to accept its role in these acts of creation, events are lovingly created to help awaken it. At times these events can appear to be destructive or counter to our desires and dreams, however each event is created with the intention of restoring the natural flow of energy, emotion and information between the Inner Self, the subconscious and the conscious mind.

When the conscious mind is aligned and in balance with the Inner Self, we find ourselves effective in acts of creation. These three dimensions of Self are, in fact, three different expressions of the same Self, merely focused on different vibrations of a multi-dimensional reality. Certain facets of each of us are focused in the physical realm. Other aspects maintain a focus in dimensions beyond the physical. This idea alone represents an exciting expansion in our ideas about the capabilities of the Self.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Many conflicts during my childhood led me to believe that my cooperation and accommodation were the sole remedies for disputes. As a result, I had little skill in communicating my wants during conflict. Thus my youth was tainted by many frustrated efforts at cooperation, and coloured with resentment for abandoning my own desires in my efforts to create peace. Whether my acquiescence was demanded by an authority or my own anxious attempts to placate, I frequently denied honest expressions of my wants and felt very isolated because I did not realize I could ask others to listen to me.
Later in life, when I was willing to give up judging myself or my parents for my behaviours, a breakthrough occurred in my relationship with conflict. In taking responsibility and ownership for my choices, I had room to forgive myself and heal. I came to see how not expressing my wants and desires had caused my frustration, and that blaming others not only was not healing, it was not true.
I learned that loving another person did not mean I must subordinate my desires to theirs. I learned that I had to respect my own desires in a conflict, especially when others might attack and accuse me of being an impediment to a resolution. I had to learn to stay true to my genuine intentions to talk it out so that everyone could win.
This has been a great challenge - to speak out constructively without judgment or blame, to express my perspective, listen without judgment or blame, and hold my ground without conceding to others’ attempts to invalidate. Then, true negotiation can begin.
To move beyond controlling behaviours into negotiation, we must distinguish between mental and emotional experiences. Thoughts can be changed. Judgment and blame, for example, can be transformed into constructive ideas through an act of choice alone. Negotiations become brainstorming sessions, where the only rule is to accept every idea and invalidate none of them. As judgments disappear, brainstorming becomes a very creative process. Unexpected solutions appear that serve all sets of wants and desires. However, in order for judgment and blame to end, negotiations must allow for the expression of emotional honesty.
When resolution talks remain at the level of thoughts alone, without including peoples’ emotional experience, negotiations get stalled. Feelings, unlike thoughts, cannot be readily changed, at least not until they are accepted and felt. When the feelings that are evoked during conflict are recognized as constructive messengers, without the need to be judged or controlled, the present moment -- our point of power – suddenly becomes available. Creating mutually satisfying resolutions requires that we learn how to make it safe to be emotionally open and honest, and to set aside the personal agenda to win at any cost.
In all relationships there must exist an element of mutual decision making. This is a fundamental skill in negotiating conflict resolutions. Granted, that ability is set aside for a few years between parents and children. Nonetheless, all effective relationships which pursue constructive acts of creation allow for mutual decision making. The less one-sided decision making is, the more creative and powerful the relationship.
However, the moment we abandon mutual decision making, the decision-maker becomes dominant and inequality characterizes the relationship. Wants, desires and choices are dominated by one person. Honest responses to requests are subordinated to the desire to dominate and control.
When requests are not always listened to and responded to honestly, the capacity for expressing wants diminishes. Requests often become demands, yet are framed as requests. The listener is asked to set aside any distinction between asking and demanding. As soon as requests turn into demands, a system of rewards and punishments arises to enforce domination and control.

Monday, September 22, 2008


Many times I have reminded clients of the adage, “Energy follows thought.” Quantum physicists and mystics readily acknowledge that all is vibration. Matter is merely energy vibrating slowly. If you accept that we each are beings with our fundamental existence outside of time and space - then consider that we each manifest a physical presence using the abundant energy that surrounds us. It is the power of our expectations, thoughts and beliefs that directs energy to manifest as our lives. Each of us is powerful beyond measure.
All energy is constructive. When it flows it manifests constructively. It is only when we block its flow that it stagnates and then manifests as imbalance. Stagnant energy seeks to recover its capacity to flow, yet when thwarted can back up and at times explode. Many such explosions appear to be painful and destructive. They are merely the last-ditch attempts of energy to restore its natural flow and movement.
Sadly, we have become complacent with stagnant energy, and do not realize that the destructive events in our lives are telling us we are blocking its flow. Our pain and conflicts are merely our own creations telling us that we are focusing our power on distorted thoughts that block the natural flow of energy.
Imagine that you can feel the energy within an experience, and then consciously direct it to flow to a higher purpose. Energy follows thought. Imagine being able to recognize stagnant energy and choosing thoughts that favorably influence energy’s apparently destructive explosions! Imagine that energy is conscious and seeks to support you in making the greatest contribution to humankind possible. This idea can be a giant advance in how you use the power of your mind.

-- excerpt from ACTS OF LOVE, ACTS OF HEALING; The Sevenfold Peace and Spiritual Relationships by Rev. Ned Wolf